


Stranger

by MaliceManaged



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Ableism, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Divergence - Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Horror, I Made Myself Cry, Isolation, Loneliness, Mental Instability, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Psychological Horror, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Why Brain Why, halloween fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:48:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27252208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaliceManaged/pseuds/MaliceManaged
Summary: Apartment living comes with any number of challenges. Some, Loki can confirm beyond a doubt, bigger than others...
Relationships: Loki (Marvel) & Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 25





	Stranger

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Birthday to _me,_ bitches! I made it!
> 
> So, yeah. It's our third Halloween fic in a row. I'm honestly surprised I've managed three consecutive years of this. And they keep getting longer, whyyyyy T^T  
> Title comes from [this Lindsay Schoolcraft song](https://youtu.be/zSwKDPBY9XE) I've probably listened to way too often and was a pretty big inspiration for the story itself.
> 
> I would advice against reading this before bed. I wrote a lot of it before bed. 10/10 would not recommend.

The Avengers had been surprised, and a tad concerned, when Thor had told them that Loki wanted to move into an apartment in Manhattan. While they had (mostly) accepted that Loki was not their enemy, they figured he wouldn’t want to be in the same country as them when he technically didn’t have to be, so they wondered at the choice. Thor had merely shrugged and said that he had long since given up trying to understand the reasoning behind most of Loki’s seemingly random actions; he had only gone to ask them for help moving Loki’s things, so to speed up the process. Steve had volunteered easily enough, which in turn made Bucky join in mostly out of curiosity, and Tony offered to provide a moving van but that was it.

Loki had, as it turned out, not been informed of the assistance beforehand, and seemed both surprised and suspicious that they had actually agreed to help. As Thor had told them, he was less than forthcoming about why he was moving, only rolled his eyes when Tony mostly-jokingly suggested he was planning something nefarious before leaving them to it. He accepted the help in the end, if only because Thor had that look on his face that told him he’d never hear the end of it if he didn’t. And he had to admit (privately, of course) that having two extra sets of arms, particularly two supersoldiers who could carry several boxes each, certainly sped things up. If he’d been at full power, he could have taken care of everything without even having to ask Thor for help, but well…

He would  _ not _ think about  _ that. _ It never led anywhere good, and he refused to give the old man the satisfaction, even if he was too dead to enjoy it.

Loki grabbed a box, which held some rather fragile things he didn’t trust to anyone else, then turned and looked up the building wall, eyes roving over the windows. He paused after a moment, brow furrowed; he couldn’t be sure, but he thought he’d noticed something odd at a window on the seventh floor. As he was looking back to confirm this, he was suddenly jostled as someone walked into him from the side, the contents of the box in his hands rattling at tad concerningly, though thankfully nothing sounded as though it had broken.

He turned to glare at the person, a woman of fairly dark skin and long dark curly hair, and snapped, “Watch where you are going.”

“Oh, my god, I am so sorry!” she apologised profusely, “I spaced out. I’m sorry; are you okay?”

“Fine,” he replied shortly.

He had barely begun to look back up at the building when the woman spoke again. “You wouldn’t happen to be moving into 5H, would you?”

“I don’t see how that is any business of yours,” he replied coolly, glancing down at her briefly before looking back up.

“That’s fair!” she quickly said, getting his (annoyed) attention, “It’s just that, if you are, I live across the hall.”

“Congratulations,” he deadpanned, causing her to wince a bit.

“Making friends already?” Steve called as he came back outside, though Loki could hear the warning in his tone clearly and silently cursed the supersoldier’s hearing. He came to a stop before them and held a hand out to the woman. “Morning, ma’am. Or afternoon now, I guess. Steve Rogers.”

She knew that, of course, they both saw the recognition on her face as soon as she saw him, but she made no mention of it as she shook his hand, which Steve appreciated. “Melanie Gutierrez.”

Steve looked at Loki pointedly and he rolled his eyes. “She knows who I am.”

Steve frowned but said nothing, simply walked over to the van to get a few more boxes. Melanie’s gaze followed him there, then to the building as he disappeared through the front doors, before she turned back to Loki, who regarded her with a raised eyebrow. “If you are finished prying,” he said rather pointedly, “I would like to be moved in sometime this day.”

He didn’t give her a chance to reply before he turned and walked into the building, though he sighed in annoyance when she followed after him, causing her to huff slightly. “Relax, dude; I’m just going home.”

The elevator ride was a rather awkwardly silent one, as Melanie debated whether to speak or not push her luck until he was less irritated. They did turn out to be neighbours, which really only extended the awkward silence down the hall until they reached their doors. On impulse, Melanie turned to him and extended an invitation to her apartment for lunch after they were done bringing up his things, ostensibly to ‘welcome him to the building’; Loki  _ meant _ to immediately turn it down, but Thor had come out just at that moment and happily accepted on his behalf, earning him a baleful glare that he pretended not to notice.

Admittedly, some pizza and light-but-informative conversation improved Loki’s mood quite a bit, enough that he eventually turned to Melanie and asked, “Were you acquainted with the previous tenant of my apartment?”

“In passing,” she shrugged, “We said ‘hi’ when we passed each other in the hall, but she wasn’t really a very social person, at least not with me.”

“Would you happen to know what happened to her? The man who showed me the apartment was rather cagey about the details, but he was quite nervous when I asked about the furniture still there.”

Melanie shifted a bit. “Ah. Well, you know, apartment living; people come and go,” she sat up straight and raised her half full glass, “Refill, anyone?”

“No,” Loki replied sharply before anyone else could even think to say a word.

Melanie chewed on her bottom lip then sighed. “Look, I don’t really know what happened to her; she’s just gone. Never saw her leaving, just one day the landlady came to - very loudly - evict her for not paying the rent, and that was it.”

“That’s weird. Has anyone looked into that?” Steve asked.

“I don’t know. Like I said, I didn’t really know her. It wasn’t really my business; why would anyone tell me anything? For all I know, she could have just moved out quietly to avoid having to pay her overdue rent.”

“If that’s the case, then why would the guy be nervous to talk about it?” Bucky asked before Loki could.

“How would I know? The landlord’s a shady prick at the best of times. He probably didn’t want to spook you by mentioning your predecessor ‘disappeared’,  _ if _ that is in fact what happened.”

“I guess that’s a good point,” Steve conceded, “Still pretty weird, though.”

She snorted. “What do you expect? It’s New York.”

They stayed for a while longer then bid Melanie a good day; she walked them out, trying not to laugh at Loki’s exasperated expression when Thor suggested they dine together again sometime. She waited until he, Steve and Bucky had gotten into the elevator then walked over Loki’s door and knocked. He didn’t seem particularly surprised as he opened the door, having figured she had something to say that she hadn’t wanted to bring up with the others around, simply looked at her questioningly.

“Look, I shouldn’t be talking about this, but…” she glanced around nervously, “When you’re outside, don’t look up at the seventh floor.”

“So, I did notice something,” he said mostly to himself.

“You didn’t notice anything,” she practically hissed, taking him aback enough that he didn’t resist when she all but forced her way into his apartment and closed the door behind her. “Don’t bring attention to it, don’t go looking for it, don’t even  _ think _ about it,” she warned, mindful to keep her voice down even inside, “It’s better to just stay off the floor completely, but if you have to go there, just pretend 10G doesn’t even exist.”

“You walked into me on purpose, outside,” he realised.

“I had to try  _ something; _ even if it’s probably going to come back to bite me.”

“The previous tenant of this apartment was not the first to disappear, was she?”

“What part of ‘don’t bring attention to it’ aren’t you getting?” she retorted then turned and walked back into the hall, turning to add, “I helped you this time; the rest is on you. I’m not taking any more risks.” With that, she went back to her apartment, closing, locking and bolting the door without a backwards glance.

He frowned and closed his door, resolving to deal with her tomorrow. He waited a while, taking the opportunity to do a bit of unpacking, then grabbed his coat and left the apartment, then the building altogether. Orienting himself using what Melanie had told him about the area during lunch and the map app on his phone, he made his way to the nearest library; he wasn’t sure it would have what he needed for his mission, but it seemed like a good place to start.

Information about the apartment building itself was a dead end, but he’d expected as much from the start. Tracking the disappearances themselves was even harder. What few names he managed to find were all but useless, written off as ‘unexplained disappearances’ that no one seemed particularly interested in finding. They were all the same; lone people with few, if any, living relatives or friends. Unwanted. Forgotten. He sympathised, really. He took a small slightly worn picture out of his pocket, depicting a pair of smiling teenaged twin girls, and let out a soft sigh before shaking the feeling away and focusing back on the matter at hand.

He had a job to do here, and he was not going to fail.

****

The feeling was back, Melanie realised with a sudden pang of dread. That feeling of being watched, of something lurking somewhere just out of one’s sight, but a moment’s search away. She hadn’t lapsed with her medication lately, she made damn sure of it, so the abruptness of the feeling told her it most likely wasn’t her own mind to blame this time. She almost wished it was; that would’ve been a bit easier to deal with.

She forced her attention to remain on her computer screen, on the game she was playing, and tried to only focus on the images before her. Not on anything that might reflect, if you looked at the glass  _ just right. _ She focused on keeping her breathing even, much as it wanted to speed up from the panic that threatened to engulf her if she let herself get distracted long enough. She’d done this before, plenty of times; it didn’t always work, but she had to try. Fortunately, before long she managed to begin losing herself in the game again, the building fear loosening in her chest.

She felt a little bad about being so short with Loki that afternoon, but the risks of getting involved were just too great. She had warned him, as she’d been warned; that had to be enough. She was not responsible for what he did after that, all she could do was hope he would listen. She  _ wasn’t _ responsible. Of course, thinking about Loki and their last interaction only served to remember  _ why _ it had gone that way, and the feeling of being watched returned full force as she let herself get distracted enough to stop ignoring it, causing her breath to hitch in a dangerously obvious way. She closed her eyes and tried to get her breathing under control, all the while the air seemingly getting heavier.

She was so focused on that, that she was startled badly by a knock on her front door, eyes flying open. Getting up, she made her way out of her bedroom and down the hall, not daring to look anywhere but directly in front of her, and opened the door to find a slightly concerned looking Loki. “Oh, hi,” she greeted somewhat wobbly then cleared her throat and tried again, “What’s up?”

“I, ah… I merely wanted to thank you for lunch,” he replied, his tone light, though the very slight tension in his shoulders belied it.

“Oh. Well… you’re welcome. It was nice to have people over; we should do it again sometime!” she winced slightly as an edge of desperation crept into her voice. Nothing for it, she supposed.

“I would like that.” He was far more successful at sounding casual. She envied him, really. “I might even convince my brother and his friends to join us.”

The tension in the area began to loosen and she only just managed not to sigh in relief. “Oh, that would be nice. I look forward to it.”

He hummed, his posture relaxing a bit. “I’ll be in touch. Good night.”

“Good night!” she managed a smile that was only a little forced and waved at him as he went to his apartment.

By the time she decided to go to bed her apartment felt completely empty of all presence besides her own, to her great relief, and she spared a moment to be immensely grateful to Loki even as she wondered how he even knew to check in on her.

****

He had resisted the temptation to look up as he got back to the apartment building, just in case Melanie’s warning applied to him. Until he knew what he was dealing with, it would be prudent to assume it did. He did sense  _ something _ off about the place, and the feeling had briefly intensified when the elevator passed the seventh floor, so that was likely his target. What he would actually  _ find _ there, though, he had no idea. As he reached his floor, he noticed the odd feeling hadn’t disappeared like before, instead growing stronger as he walked down the hall. When he stood before his door he realised the feeling was coming from Melanie’s apartment and felt a pang of unease, as well as some guilt as he remembered her saying that warning him might backfire on her.

And so he’d gone to check. The fact that the threat seemed to dissipate as soon as they made plans to spend time together didn’t escape his notice, and he filed that away to explore later even as the implications made him rather uncomfortable. It certainly didn’t bode well for his mission.

He sat on his couch, staring up at the ceiling as he pondered his next move, then pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed Thor’s number, receiving an answer after just a few rings. “I’ve arranged to have lunch with Melanie soon; when are you available?”

Thor snorted softly. “I love how you assume I will join you.”

“Because I know you will, so when?”

“Short of something coming up, I have no plans for the rest of the month that cannot be rescheduled; so whenever you wish is fine.”

“Good. And if you can convince the Ca-…  _ Steve,” _ he corrected himself before Thor could (again), “And his friend to come along, even better.”

“I can ask, but why?” Thor asked with a tint of suspicion. As far as he knew, Loki only barely tolerated his friends, and in small doses at that.

“Melanie asked after them,” he lied easily, “It seems they made a good impression.”

Thor hummed, not sure he fully believed the explanation but not really caring to push the issue. “I will ask them tomorrow and get back to you.” He paused for a moment, before adding, “This is good, brother.”

Loki was pretty sure he knew, but still he asked, “What is?”

“You, making friends. It’s very good.”

He knew it. “I am merely returning a favour,” he retorted, though technically it wasn’t  _ entirely _ a lie, “A favour  _ you _ made me owe, lest you forget.”

“Yes, of  _ course.” _

“Talk to the soldiers and get back to me,” he snapped then ended the call before Thor could reply. He looked up at the ceiling a while longer, wondering if there would come a day when he could talk to his brother without ending up annoyed at best, then brought up his phone again to make another call.

“Hello?” a woman’s voice greeted just before the call could go to voicemail.

“It’s me. I am in the apartment.”

“And?” the woman asked hopefully.

“She is not here. The landlords have no idea where she went.”

“Oh.” There was silence for a moment. “Do you think she just moved without telling anyone?”

“I don’t know yet, but she is not the first to disappear from this building.”

“So something  _ did _ happen,” she said worriedly.

He sighed. “It’s possible. There is  _ something _ in this building, and I know where to look, but I’m not sure what it is or what the connection to the disappearances is. I need time to investigate.”

“It’s all my fault; I should’ve-”

“We don’t know that,” he interrupted, “Let me find answers and then we can assign blame, if there is any to be assigned.”

“But what if she’s-”

“I will find her,” he promised, “One way or another, I will find her.”

There was a slight sniffle. “Okay. Okay.”

He set the phone down on the couch after ending the call then sat forward, resting his elbows on his knees, and buried his face in his hands with a groan. He would keep his promise to the very best of his abilities, but he had a feeling this would not end particularly well, and he was not looking forward to it.

****

Melanie seemed a bit nervous when she answered the door to Loki and company a week later, though he hadn’t sensed anything amiss on their floor, so he figured it might not really be that serious, if only to quash the odd feeling of guilt creeping upon him at having taken so long to visit. He’d been busy, after all; he was there for a reason and it had very little, if anything, to do with the neighbour he’d had no intention of even speaking to.

Even if she  _ had _ helped him out… And risked herself in the process… And had asked for nothing in return…

He shook the thoughts away as she invited them in, making some comment about hoping they didn’t mind puertorrican food that he only barely listened to. He was returning the favour  _ now, _ after all; he had nothing to feel guilty about. She seemed to mostly relax as time passed and conversation flowed, and so he thought no more of it. And if she seemed a bit sad to see them go by early evening, well, she wasn’t really his responsibility.

She lingered for a while at her door as Thor, Steve and Bucky left for the elevator, then turned to him at his door. “Hey, thanks for… It’s good to have people over, every so often.”

“Of course.”

She looked thoughtful for a moment then shook her head a bit. “Well… goodnight.”

He nodded in response then went into his apartment, and it was a few moments longer before he heard her door close. With a sigh, he went to the living room, where the bulk of the research he had so far lay more or less strewn all over the coffee table, and continued his attempts to piece it all together in a way approaching coherence. As far as he could tell, his initial theory that the only thing connecting the disappearances was the fact that the victims had little in the way of relationships with others was the most likely answer; other than that, it really did seem to all be completely random.

“So,” he mused aloud, the silence strangely uncomfortable tonight, “Something that preys on the alone. Wonderful.”

He thought of the previous tenant of the apartment, the reason he was there, and sighed again. This did not bode well. He thought again of Melanie, and the disturbing presence he had sensed in her apartment the day he’d moved in, and frowned. He found it a bit hard to believe someone as sociable as she’d proven to be so far would be alone in the world, so it was possible that he was wrong about the reason for the disappearances. That, or he was wrong about Melanie? He didn’t really know her; it was certainly possible. It would explain why she was so relieved to have them over for lunch, at least.

“This is getting me nowhere,” he said exasperatedly, leaning back into the couch. Perhaps it was time to go to the seventh floor and look for the source directly.

No sooner had he thought that, he felt a presence behind him. And it did  _ not _ feel friendly.

He stiffened, drawing on what of his power he had access to in preparation for… something. He almost turned around to face whatever was there, when he remembered Melanie’s advice.  _ ‘Don’t bring attention to it’ _ , she had said. And so he relaxed his posture, closed his eyes even though his every instinct balked at the action, and very deliberately thought of something completely unrelated to the apartment or anything in it. Slowly but surely, the pressure in the room faded away, until there was nothing but himself in it.

Well, then.

It was odd; he’d been thinking about the missing people and wondering at what was behind it all, but it wasn’t until he thought about actively looking for the cause that anything adverse had occurred. That was curious. He decided against exploring that thought further for the moment, though; he wanted to cover all his bases as well as possible before he tried something potentially dangerous. It wasn’t just his life at risk if he failed. He would not be responsible for that. He leaned back into the couch again, and had begun to doze when there was an almost frantic knock on his door that startled him alert. He hurried to answer the door, only to find a worried looking Melanie, who heaved a sigh of relief upon seeing him.

“Is something wrong?” he asked somewhat confusedly.

“Uh… I, uh… J-just wondering if I could borrow some sugar?” she lied. Quite blatantly, at that.

“… Right. Of course. Why not.”

“Great! Thanks.”

He went to the kitchen, grabbed a random mug and filled it with sugar, then returned to her; noting that while she seemed to have no qualms about inviting herself in the last time, she had not set foot past the door this time. He handed her the cup, feeling rather awkward at the mundanity of the moment, especially after what had occurred earlier.

“Thanks,” she said again, lifting the cup slightly as though the reminder of it was necessary, “I’ll, uh, get this back to you later, okay?”

“No need to hurry; it is hardly vital.”

“Right. Yeah,” she shifted a bit on her feet, “Well… g’night.”

He nodded in response and she turned on her heel and went back to her apartment, leaving him wondering what that had been about.

****

Melanie leaned back against her door, internally berating herself. What had she been thinking?? Hadn’t she taken enough risks already? And for someone who was at best uncomfortable interacting with her, if not outright annoyed. What was  _ wrong _ with her?

She’d been so nervous having people over, spending most of the time they’d been there worried they would somehow see through her, figure out she wasn’t “normal”, even as the more rational side of her reminded her that even if they did notice anything was ‘off’ about her, they were hardly regular people themselves. But as nerve-wracking as it may have been for the most part, she was still glad they’d come. The past week had… not been very kind to her mind. Her medication did much to curb her episodes, but the added stress she’d been under since…

She jolted as if she’d been shocked and hurried over to her kitchen. Baking usually helped her calm down, and she may as well use the sugar she’d lied about needing. Getting the recipe book her grandfather had left her - mostly for the feeling it gave her, as she practically knew it by heart at this point - she got everything she needed for a cake set up on the counter, humming to herself as she worked. It helped, for the most part, and by the time the cake was in the oven she felt something approaching normal, which was a pleasant change. Not for the first time, she wished she could afford to just pack up and move, but that simply wasn’t her reality. At least, not without help; and the only person that could offer that… 

Frankly, she preferred the crushing loneliness and state of near-constant fear.

As she took the cake out of the oven and set it on the counter to cool, she glanced at the mug Loki had lent her with the sugar, which reminded her of the reason she’d gotten it, and became annoyed with herself all over again. ‘What were you thinking?’ rose up in her mind again, but that was the thing, wasn’t it? She  _ hadn’t _ been thinking. She had felt…  _ It…  _ in his apartment and panicked, acting without thinking through the consequences. It wasn’t even as though they were friends, as the nasty little voice in the back of her mind loved reminding her the entire week since he’d moved in. But really it was more for her own conscience, wasn’t it? Could she live with herself if something bad happened to him and she didn’t even try to prevent it, even if there was precious little she could actually do? She huffed, pushing her hair out of her face, and got to work on the buttercream frosting for the cake.

As she was cleaning up the utensils she’d used after frosting the cake; her phone rang and she groaned at the ringtone, seriously considering letting it go to voicemail, before drying her hands and answering it with a short, “What?”

“Is that any way to talk to your mother?” came the disapproving response.

“Well, you see nothing wrong when  _ you _ do it. What do you want? I’m busy.”

“Oh, please. Busy doing what? It’s not like you have a job.”

“This may come as a shock, mother, but there’s more to life than working. Also, who’s fault is that?”

“Oh, for goodness sake, you need to get over that; I was only trying to help!”

Melanie scoffed in disbelief. “By  _ exaggerating my medical history to my bosses? _ Who was that supposed to help, exactly?”

“Well, they had to know about your  _ condition; _ how else were they supposed to compensate for your shortcomings?”

“Jesus Christ, do you even hear yourself?” She ran a hand through her hair. “How did I put up with this for so long?” she muttered to herself before cutting off whatever her mother was coming up with to justify herself  _ this _ time, “Look, did you actually want something; or did you just want to remind me why I left?”

“Yes, your aunt Margaret died,  _ finally; _ the funeral’s next week.”

“… And?”

“ _ And _ you need to fly up here, obviously.”

“Why? I met the woman once at Grandad’s funeral, and she nearly attacked me for having the nerve to take the one thing he left me specifically.”

“Look, Margie was a bitch, you don’t need to tell me that, I grew up with her,” her mother said irritably, “But we still have to go; she was family.”

“Yeahhh, no, that’s… not gonna happen. The last thing I need right now is to be surrounded by the mass of hypocrisy that makes up your family tree. Just tell them I’m in the loony bin, or something equally ableist; you should be able to think of plenty, after all!” she finished with mock cheeriness.

“I have only ever tried to make you normal, that’s my  _ job _ as your  _ mother.” _

“No; your  _ job _ as my  _ mother _ is to show me at the very least a  _ shred _ of  _ kindness and love, _ not to make me feel  _ worthless! _ The bare minimum, and you can’t even do that!” she stopped and took a deep breath to keep from outright shouting; the walls there weren’t exactly the thickest, after all, “Look, I’m not going to your sister’s funeral. I’m not moving back in with you. I don’t even want to  _ talk _ to you again. So, whoever you’re paying to keep getting my number; stop. I am  _ done _ with your bullshit.”

“Melanie, don’t you  _ dare _ hang up o-” was all that made it through before Melanie ended the call.

She set the phone down and rested her forearms on the counter with a tired sigh. Talking to her mother always drained her; it felt like ripping open her every wound and rubbing salt into them, and every time she wondered why she even answered the call at all. Then again, the last time she had tried to ignore the woman, she had found out where Melanie worked and gotten her fired. And she could say she was trying to “help” all she wanted; Melanie knew she just wanted to leave her with no choice but to go back to her. She wanted her to be alone, and had done a damn good job of it.

Wiping her eyes with a soft sniffle, Melanie pushed away from the counter and set about cutting a large slice of the cake and putting it in a container. She then washed Loki’s mug and took it and the cake over to his door, knocking and leaving them on the floor before going back to her apartment. As desperate as she was for social interaction, she felt a little too fragile right now to deal with his attempts to conceal how little he wanted to talk to her.

When the whispering began as she lay in bed late that night, she made no real effort to ignore it.

****

As Loki stood before the doors of the Sanctum Sanctorum, he couldn’t help but to think again about how very much he wanted to not be there right now, especially that early in the day. He and Strange did not exactly have the most amiable relationship (using one of one’s biggest fears against one without provocation and then acting as though it had been justified had a way of doing that), but he needed the library within those walls; it might very well be his only hope of figuring out his maybe-not-so-little problem, or at least point him in the right direction, now he had exhausted every other option he could think of. He had barely raised his hand to knock when he felt the telltale signs of a portal opening beneath him.

Not this time.

This time there was no Thor and his temper and threats to distract him. This time he knew Strange could use the Time Stone without destroying himself in the process.  _ This time _ Loki sent as strong a burst of seidr as he could through the portal as he sidestepped it, which was still more than enough to cause the windows on one of the floors to rattle in their frames and he heard several things crash inside the building.

Excessive? Perhaps. But he figured it would get the point across adequately enough.

After the portal closed, he knocked and waited. It wasn’t long before Wong answered, eyeing him warily but wisely not attempting to attack him. “Good morning,” he greeted politely, as though nothing at all had occurred, “I wonder if perhaps you might be able to assist me with a matter?”

“What happens if we refuse?”

“I will take what I need anyway and be on my way,” he replied pleasantly enough, though the warning in his smile was quite clear. Wong seemed to weigh his options then stepped aside, and Loki walked in with a ‘thank you’ that was at least a  _ little _ sincere.

Strange was coming down the main stairs, trying to feign nonchalance though it was clear he hadn’t expected Loki’s retaliation to be quite so… abrupt. “And what exactly is it you need?”

“Information,” Loki replied simply, “That I hope resides amongst your tomes. The city’s public libraries are sadly lacking in anything approaching useful when it comes to things magical in nature.”

“You realise I’m not going to simply give you anything that could threaten this world?”

“Naturally,” Loki drawled boredly, rolling his eyes.

Strange frowned but said nothing to that. “What kind of information are you looking for?”

“Entities that prey on isolated people,” Loki replied, becoming serious as he focused on his task, “I know of several, of course, but none native to this realm, and I don’t believe the one I am tracking is foreign.”

“Why are you tracking such a thing?” Wong asked.

“I am looking for someone; barring finding them, I want answers as to what took them, and to eliminate it before it takes anyone else, if possible.”

Strange raised an eyebrow, clearly not expecting that answer. “Who are you looking for?” he asked as he turned and began leading the way to the library, forgoing a portal in favour of walking, likely not wanting to risk a repeat of earlier.

“That is not your concern,” Loki replied stiffly, earning a sidelong look he ignored. Just because he needed their help, or at least their library, didn’t mean he had to tell them everything.

Strange huffed but didn’t press further. “I’m surprised you came to us; with your power, I would’ve expected you could deal with whatever this entity is easily enough.”

“Only a fool rushes into a confrontation with an unknown opponent whilst having the option to prepare. This entity does not seem to appreciate being sought after; forcing things might endanger who I’m looking for, if they remain alive to be found.” They  _ also _ didn’t need to know he couldn’t actually  _ use _ a lot of his power.

“Fair enough,” Strange conceded, “Though aren’t you worried it might escape you the longer you put off looking for it?”

“I am not looking for it; I know exactly where it is, and it does not appear to be willing or able to leave.”

A hum. “That probably narrows it down,” Strange said. He pushed open the doors to the library and led them straight to the section he thought might be most helpful.

“Where is this entity located? It’s odd we aren’t aware of it, if it’s so localized,” Wong asked as Strange began to pull a few books from the shelves.

Once Loki rattled out the address, a troubled expression crossed both sorcerers’ faces. “You know it?”

“We do,” Strange replied, “People have a tendency to disappear in that building, but when we tried investigating, we found nothing at all amiss.”

“We would’ve dismissed it as something mundane, if unfortunate, were it not for the fact that one tenant disappeared shortly after insisting something was wrong in the building.”

“Yes, I was warned not to bring attention to it, and it lashed out when I decided to actively look for it the other day,” Loki confirmed, “It let me be when I ceased acknowledging it.”

“It didn’t manifest at all for us,” Wong said, frowning, “It might as well have not existed. We’ve kept an eye on it, but nothing changes even when someone else disappears.”

“Maybe it can only be perceived by potential victims?” Strange suggested then turned to Loki, “If so, you’ll need to be very careful.”

“I may not have the luxury being careful,” Loki replied grimly.

The sorcerers exchanged a look, but said nothing as they began looking through the books. With the details Loki had discovered that they hadn’t been able to, they hoped to find something they might have missed before and perhaps deal with the matter once and for all. It was quite late by the time Loki left the Sanctum, and truthfully they’d made little progress; he would have preferred to work through the night if he had to, but he’d had a sudden feeling that he needed to go back to the apartment, and chose to listen mostly out of curiosity.

The elevator was on the ground floor when he got back and opened quickly at the call button, though part of him wished it hadn’t as he stepped in to find Melanie inside. She was standing in the corner despite the fact that the elevator had been empty before he got there, which he found odd. He nodded in greeting then realised she wasn’t even looking at him, instead staring at the button panel, or at least facing them, and only then took a proper look at her. She looked… awful, actually; her dress was dripping wet - there was a small puddle around her from it, actually - her hair was a mess, her makeup running and smudged, and her eyes were red and puffy as though she’d been crying.

He debated with himself for a moment before clearing his throat to get her attention, but though she flinched a bit at the sound she didn’t acknowledge him at all, and so he tried again, “Melanie?”

He’d called her name three more times, and even began to reach for her, before she blinked suddenly and looked up at him, seemingly surprised to see him. “Oh. Hi.”

“Are you… alright?” he asked largely for politeness’ sake, because it was more than obvious she was Very Much Not.

She hummed questioningly then followed his gaze down at herself. “Oh, that. I just took a little swim, is all.”

“You went for a swim fully dressed?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

She shrugged a bit, though it was really more of a twitch of her shoulder, if he was honest. “Seemed like a good idea.”

He found he didn’t much like how listless she looked. It felt dangerous. “Melanie…” he began before thinking better of it and instead asking, “Have you had dinner?”

Melanie looked at him blankly for an altogether worryingly long moment before quietly replying, “No.”

He nodded then pressed the button for their floor. Once there, he walked her over to her apartment so she could wash her face and change into something dry then led them over to his. He sat her down at the counter as he prepared a meal for her, not quite trusting leaving her out of his sight, though he wasn’t completely sure why. She was obviously not having the greatest night, but it felt like more than that, somehow. He tried talking to her but her responses were few and somewhat disjointed, as though she were only speaking half of it aloud, which was actually a little unnerving if he was honest, and so he opted for silence instead. When he placed the plate in front of her she only stared at it for a moment, until he physically guided the fork in her hand to the food.

“Melanie,” he began after she’d eaten, prompting her to look up at him, “Did… Has something happened?”

He didn’t really expect much of an answer, and so was a bit surprised when she replied, “I think so, yes.”

“Can you tell me what it was?”

She looked a bit confused for a moment, before seemingly remembering what they were talking about. “Oh, I… I had a date tonight. She seemed nice. And then she wasn’t.” She looked down at the counter with a frown. “They never stay nice.”

Well,  _ that _ wasn’t alarming at  _ all. _

“Did she hurt you?”

She looked back up at him. “What? Oh. No. Not like that. She said… some very hurtful things.” He relaxed a bit then felt a little bad about it as whatever it was had clearly affected her, but she seemed not to notice as she looked down at the counter again and continued half to herself, “Nothing new  _ there, _ of course, but I really hoped  _ this one _ would be different, but she wasn’t. They never are.”

“That… is… unfortunate, of course, but how did that lead to your, ah,  _ swim, _ exactly?”

“Hmm? What swim? I don’t swim.”

“You don’t…? Melanie; you told me you went for a swim yourself. You were wet when I met you in the elevator; I walked you to your apartment so you could change. Do you not remember this?”

She looked up at him, as though trying to gauge if he was serious, then realisation coloured her features. “Oh, that. Mm… I don’t know why I did that.” Her brow furrowed. “I must’ve had a reason. Right? I can’t remember what it was, though.”

“… Right. Melanie, is there someone you can call?”

She looked at him oddly. “Call? Why?”

“Your behaviour is a little concerning; I don’t believe you should be alone right now. Is there someone who can come look after you?”

In a flash, the confusion was replaced by anger, and she hopped down from her seat. “I can look after myself. I’m not crazy!”

He blinked, taken aback. “I didn’t say you were.”

She scoffed. “Right, of course not. My “behaviour” is “concerning”? Like I haven’t heard  _ that _ before!” She stormed off to the front door and out the apartment, to which he followed, then turned around in the hallway. “You know, I didn’t expect us to be friends or anything, but at the very least I hoped we could be decent neighbours. Clearly not, since you can’t seem to get away from me fast enough! Don’t think I haven’t noticed. And now you come here with your bullshit ‘worry’ and, what? Do you expect me to be grateful? You want a medal? Well, you know what? Screw you! I don’t need your pity!”

And with that, she went into her apartment and slammed the door closed, leaving Loki standing at his door feeling both insulted and very confused. She was lashing out, he knew. He of all people would recognise that. But what had prompted such a reaction, he could only guess. Clearly, something had happened to make her mental stability a touchy subject, but that only told him so much. He shook his head and went back into the apartment.

She wasn’t his responsibility.

She  _ wasn’t. _

****

Melanie had been looking forward to that evening. That thought above all others had stuck. She had actually been  _ excited, _ even, which was so rare these days she had almost forgotten the feeling. And then her date had asked about her…  _ condition, _ as she put it, and it had all gone downhill from there. She of course knew she’d have to bring up her disorder eventually, but certainly not on a first date, least of all like  _ that. _ She might have wondered how her date even knew about it, but she knew perfectly well where the information had come from. Again. In the end, she knew it was for the best to find out how incredibly close-minded the woman was, before she actually got attached, but didn’t take away the sting of yet another rejection or the hurt of effectively being called a freak.

She was standing at the pier looking out at the dark waters and replaying everything in her mind, not even bothering to hold back the tears that came once the anger had lost most of its fire, when she was struck by the sudden desire to just… not be. That wasn’t new to her, she thought it very frequently growing up under her mother’s ‘care’. What  _ was _ new was the thought of actually  _ doing _ something about it. And so she’d taken a step forward and let herself fall into the water, even as a voice in the back of her mind screamed at her not to.

She was several feet under and sinking when the realisation of what she’d done really hit her, as well as the certainty that she very much  _ did not want to die, actually,  _ and so she frantically began to swim back up. Her lungs were burning by the time she broke the surface and she wasted no time in gulping in as deep a mouthful of air as she could manage. She barely remembered making her way back to the dock or pulling herself out of the water, simply lay there for a while before standing and walking back home. All she knew was that she felt utterly empty now that the adrenaline had run out.

The elevator doors had closed and she was about to push the button to her floor when she felt  _ It _ right beside her. It was almost a physical presence, like if she were to reach out, her hand would find something solid. Not that she would dare try. It was all she could do not to scream from the terror that flooded her in but a moment. As it was she couldn’t help the soft whimper that escaped her, and in an instant she felt  _ It  _ move closer; she could almost feel its breath on the side of her face, which pulled another whimper as she shut her eyes tight and hoped -  _ prayed _ \- it would be enough. Her body moved involuntarily, pressing her to the corner of the elevator, as she tried desperately to control her erratic breathing and think of  _ anything else but where she was _ even as she felt  _ It _ follow her.

In the end it was the overwhelming reality of everything crashing down on her that did the trick, as she felt the familiar almost floaty sensation that usually accompanied her dissociative episodes. Everything faded and grew muffled, as though she were back underwater, and when her eyes opened of their own volition, she was completely alone in the elevator. She had no concept of time during those bouts, and so she couldn’t hope to say how long she stood there before beginning to come back to herself just enough to notice Loki was there and speaking to her. By the time she had finished a meal she hadn’t tasted, her episode was over, leaving her confused as they tended to. It was only when Loki voiced his supposed concern that she fully snapped out of it, if only to lash out at him.

Which brought her to now, pacing back and forth in her living room to try to work off the sudden burst of energy that had accompanied her tantrum. She knew she’d probably apologise to Loki eventually; even if he didn’t actually give a damn, he had still helped her. And maybe he hadn’t actually meant to insinuate she wasn’t capable of taking care of herself. He really hadn’t even said that, she’s the one who interpreted it that way; it was hardly his fault the words ‘concerning’ and ‘behaviour’ used in the same sentence tended to trigger the fear her mother’s threats of forced institutionalisation had ingrained in her. He couldn’t possibly even know about that, they barely knew each other!

Yes, she decided, she had to apologise to him. Of course, he probably wouldn’t want to hear it, though, her mind was quick to remind her. But it was the principle of the thing, she shot back. She was hardly a saint, and didn’t pretend to be, but she did try not to be a dick to others if she could help it.

With that in mind, she made her way out of her apartment and to his door, knocking perhaps a bit more insistently than she really meant to. But it was late and this was important; she had to be sure he heard her. And hear her, he did, as he pulled open the door with a scowl soon after then narrowed his eyes at her.

“What?” he snapped, causing her to flinch. Maybe this hadn’t been such a good idea.

In fact, she decided, this was a terrible idea. She just managed to force out a half-stammered “I’m sorry” before turning on her heels and all but running back to her apartment, ignoring him calling after her as she shut the door and all but collapsed against it, leaning her head back against the door with a deep sigh. If he hadn’t thought she was completely insane before, he probably did now. Not that she could blame him, she was a mess and she knew it.

“Can I just get one break?” she said aloud to no one, “Just one?”

She decided to take the lack of a reply as a good sign and pushed off the door, going straight to her bedroom and collapsing on the bed without bothering to change into sleep clothes. She turned onto her side and hugged her knees to her chest, wishing she wasn’t so alone right now. It was really wearing on her, she knew, the lack of having someone to turn to. She missed her therapist; he, at least, listened to her. Too bad he was gone now, the nasty little voice in her mind mocked, just like everyone else.

“Fuck you,” she ground out.

Thought really, it wasn’t entirely wrong. And wasn’t that just lovely?

****

She wasn’t sure whether to call it good or bad luck that she left her apartment at the same time Loki left his; she was still quite embarrassed about last night, but she did want to clear the air, if that was in any way possible. She took tentative solace in the fact that he didn’t immediately turn away from her, even if he did hesitate to actually step foot into the hall for a moment.

They walked in awkward silence to the elevator then she cleared her throat as the doors closed and offered a quiet, “Hey.”

“Good morning,” he replied as he pressed the button for the ground floor, a hint of a question in it, and she couldn’t help a tiny grimace.

“Look, I’m… sorry for… y’know, freaking out on you like that. That was… Yesterday was quite a  _ Day,” _ she bit her bottom lip, “But I do regret lashing out at you; you were just trying to help. My relationship with certain words isn’t your fault or problem, so I’m sorry about that.”

Loki nodded. “I figured there was something more to it. I accept your apology, and offer mine for giving you the impression that I was calling your sanity into question. It was not my intent.”

“No, you don’t… have to apologise for anything. That one’s on me.” She laughed a bit ruefully. “You’re not responsible for my damage.”

“True enough,” he conceded, “But now that I am aware, I can try not to make it worse. It’s only polite.”

She laughed despite herself, earning a small smile. Nothing more was said until they stepped out of the building, where she looked up at him. “Well, here I go; got a job interview.”

“Oh? Good luck.”

“Thanks!”

With that they parted ways, and she found her mood considerably lighter. She was still apprehensive about her interview, but at least her neighbour didn’t hate her (probably), and that was something! With the way her life was going, she would milk that tiny victory for all it was worth. As she sat waiting to be called in, she focused mostly on keeping herself calm and collected; she knew she could do this, and she was not going to let anxiety - or the ever annoying heckler in the back of her mind - tell her otherwise. When she was called in, she took a deep breath before standing and following the person towards her interviewer.

As she walked out of the store after her interview, Melanie couldn’t help the smile on her face. That went pretty well, she thought; it had been one of the most pleasant interviews she’d ever had, and the man had sounded sincere when he said they’d be in touch, not like the almost sarcastic way people said that when they had no intention of calling you back. She looked up at the sunny skies and decided it was too nice a day to go back to her apartment just yet, and so instead she made her way to the nearest park. She got herself an ice-cream cone on a whim and sat on a bench to enjoy it, watching people mill about and marvelling at how good of a day it’d been, especially after yesterday.

And so, in retrospect, she probably should’ve seen it coming when her name was called by the last person she ever wanted to hear. She couldn’t help the way she stiffened but otherwise tried to let as little of her discomfort show as she stood and turned to face her mother. “Jill,” she greeted as neutrally as she could manage.

“You could at least pretend to be happy to see me,” Jill half scolded.

“I could, but I wouldn’t want to step on your toes.”

“Must you be so childish?”

“Wow, that didn’t take long. Would it actually pain you to be a decent person? Is that it?”

“Oh, enough, Melanie! Now, I’ve let you have this little tantrum of yours long enough; it’s time to come home.”

“ _ ‘Tantrum’? _ Is that what you’re calling it? Me getting away from you and your  _ abuse _ is a ‘tantrum’? That’s great! That’s-” she laughed humourlessly, “You know, if I didn’t know for a fact that you’re just a shitty person, I might think you’re delusional. You’re so out of touch with anything that doesn’t fit into that tiny little box you call ‘reality’, willfully so, but  _ I’m _ the one who’s wrong?”

“You should be grateful. I gave you a roof, I kept you fed and clothed-”

“You’re my  _ mother! _ That’s your  _ job! _ I don’t need to be  _ grateful _ for you doing your  _ job! _ Especially with how horribly you did it!” she threw her hands up frustratedly, “The  _ bare minimum, _ Jill. Threatening to lock your kid up if they didn’t act normal enough for your liking? That’s not it.”

Jill looked around them at the few people who’d stopped at Melanie’s outburst and walked closer to her, half hissing, “Melanie, you’re causing a scene.”

Melanie scoffed. “Right, and that’s a capital offence in Jill Land. You know how you can avoid that? Stay out of my life. It’s literally that easy! Won’t cost you a thing.”

“I’m just trying to look out for you.”

“No, you’re trying to look out for  _ you. _ Look, I don’t know why you’re so obsessed with controlling my life and I don’t care; you have single-handedly driven away every single person who’s ever given even a hint of a damn about me, and I am sick of it. I am  _ not coming back. _ Leave me alone. I have enough problems without you.”

With that, she turned around and walked away, hailing a cab to take her back to her building. So much for a nice day out, she thought bitterly. Walking up to her door, she paused for a moment and looked over at Loki’s. Would it be too soon to press her presence upon him, even after their far more pleasant interaction that morning? Would that ruin whatever ground she’d gained with him and annoy him into avoiding her again? She could really use some company right about now, though…

Biting her bottom lip, she walked over and knocked, waiting a long moment before knocking again. After another moment with no results, it occurred to her that he might not be home at all. She didn’t exactly know what he did with his time, after all; he could be out all day for all she knew. Sighing and trying not to be too disappointed, she turned away and went into her own apartment. She rested against the door for a moment before going to her kitchen and taking out everything she needed to make cookies, deciding she would try Loki again later and not wanting to show up empty-handed. She reasoned that if he didn’t want to spend any time with her after all, she could just pretend she was just dropping off baked goods, and maybe then she wouldn’t seem so pathetic.

****

Loki could feel their eyes on him, and ignored it for a long as he could before looking up with a glare and a cutting remark ready on his tongue, only to be met with concerned looks that surprised most of the sharpness out of his tone as he asked, “What?”

“This person you’re looking for,” Strange began, setting down the tome he was looking through on the table before him, “They’re very important to you, aren’t they?”

“What gives you that impression?” Loki asked back guardedly.

“We’ve been at this for five days, and you’ve barely slept or eaten, and haven’t gone home despite the fact that you obviously don’t like being here. I can’t imagine you’d do that for just anyone.”

“And how would you know? You don’t know me,” he shot back.

“We’re just concerned. We don’t know if we’re going to find this person, if they’re alive to be found; we just don’t want you to-”

“I know perfectly well she might be dead, Strange,” Loki interrupted, “That does not change the fact that I need answers. I am not doing this entirely for myself.” At their exchanged look, he realised he’d given more information than intended and sighed exasperatedly. Maybe he did need more sleep. “Her sister is concerned for her well being. Scared, actually. And from what I can see, she is right to worry. Now can we get back to work?”

Strange frowned then stepped closer to him. “You know, we’re trying to help, but how much do you expect us to get done when you’re withholding information-?”

“They are my daughters, alright!” Loki snapped, taking them aback, “I have two daughters I never knew about until last month, when one of them reached out to me asking me to find her sister, who nobody else has bothered to look for and may very well be dead.” He took a breath. “I need to know. Either way, I need to know. And if there is even the slightest chance that she can be saved… Is that  _ information _ enough for you?”

There was silence for a moment as they processed the revelation, then Wong spoke up. “That might be why you could sense something in the building where we failed,” he suggested.

“Yes, that… did occur to me. Though I am not certain whether it is a good thing or not.”

“It could be either,” Strange agreed.

“In any case, it doesn’t help us find what we are looking for. And am I beginning to doubt we will; it may be that your Order has never encountered this being before.”

“It’s possible,” Wong conceded, “For all that we do know, there’s a lot we don’t.”

Loki rested his chin on his hand in thought for a moment then straightened and stood. “Perhaps I should return to the building. Not that I don’t appreciate the hospitality.”

Strange snorted amusedly. “I’m sure. Go, then; we’ll keep in touch.”

With a final nod, Loki stepped through the portal Strange opened for him leaving him right in front of the building, earning a few strange looks from passersby that he ignored. He idly considered stopping by the 7th floor once in the elevator but the air around him seemed to increase in pressure as his finger hovered over the button, and so he pressed the button for his floor instead with a sigh, feeling the pressure ease off as soon as he did. He reached his door and was in the process of opening it, when he heard Melanie’s door be thrown open behind him and heard her gasp; he just barely managed to turn around, concerned as to what would elicit that from her, before she all but tackled him, hugging him so fiercely her arms trembled.

He stood in shock for a moment before regaining his bearings. “Melanie, what…?”

With a sharp inhale, Melanie hastily stood back, wiping tears from her face. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry. I thought you… You weren’t answering your door for so long; I thought…”

Loki blinked. “I…” he began, not quite sure what to make of the fact that she’d been worried about him, worried he’d… disappeared like the others, “I am… fine; I have simply… been occupied elsewhere.”

“R-right… right, that…” she seemed to shrink into herself, looking very embarrassed, “Sorry, I just… Sorry.”

“No, it’s… That’s alright. I appreciate the concern.” He shifted a bit, feeling a tad awkward, unused to others actually caring about his well being overmuch. He cleared his throat and asked, “Are you… alright? No…  _ unpleasantness, _ I hope?”

“Uhh… Nope! It’s, uh… it’s fine. Everything’s fine.”

“Convincing,” he said sarcastically before he could help himself.

Melanie laughed self-consciously, running her hands through her hair. “I’ve been worse?”

He wondered if she meant for that to sound so much like a question, but made no comment on it. Instead, he opened his door then turned back to her and asked, “Would you like some tea?”

She seemed very surprised, which made him feel an odd sort of guilt he determined to figure out later. “Uh, s-sure. Yeah, that’d be nice.”

He led the way in, remembering at the last minute to put away his research from the coffee table with a subtle flick of his wrist before she noticed it. She would  _ definitely _ not be happy to know what he was up to, though he thought she might at least sympathise with his reason for it. Once the tea was served, they sat at the table drinking it in somewhat awkward silence, until he cleared his throat to get her attention.

“I apologise for worrying you. To be quite honest, I didn’t think you would even notice my absence.”

“Of course, I noticed. Why wouldn’t I?”

“I have not been particularly neighbourly to you; it would not be unreasonable for you to ignore my existence.”

Melanie huffed softly. “You being a bit of a dick doesn’t mean I’d want something bad to happen to you.”

“… Fair enough,” he conceded, unamused by the descriptor, but well, he couldn’t exactly refute it, could he? “You were not so sociable with your last neighbour, though, were you?”

“I tried to be, actually,” she corrected and frowned, “She wasn’t interested, I guess. Maybe she wasn’t a people person, maybe she just didn’t like  _ me, _ I dunno. But I did try…”

Her frown deepened and he leaned forward a bit and asked, “What is it?”

“I just… I wonder sometimes. If… if I didn’t try hard enough. Maybe if I’d been more insistent…”

“If she’s anything like me, that wouldn’t have worked,” he said without thinking.

Melanie blinked. “What? Did… did you know Anne??”

Loki cursed himself for the slip up then sighed. “No. Not personally. I know her sister.”

“And what else? You said if she were ‘like you’; what does that mean? Are you…? You’re related to her, aren’t you?”

“… I’m her father, I have recently learned,” he confessed for the second time that day, figuring he might as well and wondering when he got so bad at keeping his secrets.

Melanie leaned away from him. “You came to look for her,” she concluded, pushing her chair back and standing, “God, I’m so stupid. Here I am trying to warn you and you-”

“And I appreciate the warnings,” he said, standing and moving towards her, “They’ve been very helpful-”

She backed away from him. “No! You’re going to go looking.  _ You’re not supposed to look!” _

“She is my daughter, of course I am going to look! Wouldn’t  _ you? _ If it were someone who mattered to you?”

“If she were that important, why was she all alone??”

He reeled back as though she’d physically struck him, though she seemed just as surprised by her words, then his face went blank of all emotion and he pointed towards the door. “Get out.”

“Loki, I-”

“Get. Out.”

She stared at him for a moment longer then nodded and walked past him and out the apartment. He took a deep breath and sat back down. He knew, realistically, he couldn’t really be blamed for not being there for his daughters. How could he, when he didn’t even know they existed until recently? But that didn’t make him feel any less guilty. Perhaps if he’d been there, the sisters wouldn’t have fallen out of touch. Or at least, Anne wouldn’t have been so alone. Perhaps she might still…

He shook his head of the thoughts. There was no point dwelling on the ‘what-ifs’, and Anne might well still be saved. He had to focus on that.

With a sigh, he stood and took the half empty cups of tea to the sink. He felt a little bad for kicking Melanie out, actually. She was out of line, of course, but he knew it was at least mostly because she was scared. Clearly  _ whatever _ the being behind the disappearances was terrified her, and he couldn’t blame her for it; it was unsettling for  _ him, _ and he was used to dealing with monsters. He was contemplating ways to try and make up with her, when his phone rang, and he answered it after a quick look at the screen.

“Oh, thank the gods, you’re alright!”

“Trine? Is something wrong?”

“I just had the worst feeling, like with Anne; I thought… I thought something happened to you!”

“I see. Well, I’m alright, darling. I promise.”

Trine took a deep, steadying breath. “Good. Good. And… still nothing?”

“No, not yet. But I feel I am getting close.”

“Okay. But… Dad, I… I don’t want to lose you, too. I know I came to you to ask you to find Anne, but… If she’s gone; you’re all the family I have left. I can’t… I can’t lose-”

“You won’t. I promise you, you won’t. I will do my absolute best to find your sister, but if I cannot find her, or if she cannot be saved; I promise I will return to you. I am not leaving you alone. Understand?”

“I…” she sniffled, “I understand.”

“Good.”

They talked for a while longer, partly so he could be sure she was okay, then he went back to his research, hoping to get at least a little closer to the answer he needed. He’d meant it when he said he felt he was getting close, but there were a few more details he wanted to work out before he took the risk of going directly to the source of their troubles. If he rushed into it and cost Anne her life - if she was alive at all - he would never forgive himself, and he doubted Trine would either. He hadn’t been at it for very long, when he felt it.

_ It. _

The presence was almost overwhelming with how strong it was, stronger than he’d ever felt it, and he realised with a jolt that it was not in his apartment.

_ It was in Melanie’s. _

In moments he was on his feet, out his front door and banging on Melanie’s. “Melanie! Melanie, are you there??  _ Melanie! _ Oh, to Hel with it!” he decided before throwing his weight at the door to bust it open, almost ripping it off its hinges in his urgency.

His eyes widened at the scene that met him: There was Melanie standing in the middle of the room, surrounded by blurry figures that might have once been people. Before her stood a shadow, towering over her by several feet, with its arms out wide and leaning down as if to embrace her.

_ “Melanie!” _ he called, getting her attention, but the shadow let out a low guttural growl and wrapped around her, causing her to shriek as it engulfed her.

Before Loki could move, one of the blurry figures appeared before him, plunging its hand into his chest and overloading his senses badly enough to knock him out cold. By the time he came to with an ache in his head from where his skull had connected with the floor, the apartment was utterly empty and he swore before getting up and heading for the elevator. He knew where he had to go. As he pressed the button for the seventh floor he felt the now familiar pressure change, so he grit his teeth and flooded the elevator with every protective spell he thought he could manage and some he couldn’t be sure of, hoping it would work. It seemed to, though he could feel a significant strain on them, telling him it likely wouldn’t hold for long.

It would have to be enough.

****

Melanie wasn’t sure where the words had come from, if she was honest. She didn’t know what the circumstances were around Anne and her family; she had no idea if she’d really been alone, or simply felt that she’d been. And it definitely wasn’t her place to judge Loki’s parenting, especially as he said he’d only know he even  _ was _ a father recently. But she said what she said anyway and she had no real idea why. She was also well and truly worried about him now, knowing he meant to poke around where she’d warned him not to. Which was rather ridiculous, a part of her mind was quick to point out; he was a grown man, he could make his own choices and deal with the consequences.

But it wasn’t about Loki, she knew, not really. Or at least not entirely. She still felt guilty about Anne. It was the whole reason she’d gone out of her way to warn Loki about the 7th floor; the wondering if she could have done more to save Anne from it. Logically she knew there weren’t really many ways to warn someone about something that by its very nature required not acknowledging it, but that didn’t do much to console her conscience.

She hadn’t realised it at first, how the air changed. How she wasn’t alone anymore. She’d gotten complacent. It ( _ It _ ) had been chipping away at her for days, gradually but insistently, so that she just didn’t notice it as much anymore as in the beginning.

She realised it soon enough.

It… no;  _ It _ was right behind her. She knew it. She felt it. She shouldn’t turn around; she knew that, too.

She did it anyway.

Melanie wasn’t sure what she expected  _ It _ to look like; perhaps something, perhaps nothing. The shadow towering over her wasn’t quite it, she knew that much. She expected to scream. She should scream, shouldn’t she? But all that escaped her lips was a soft whimper she wasn’t entirely sure was fear, or at least  _ just _ fear. She wasn’t very afraid, she realised, which was odd, she expected to be terrified. She also couldn’t seem to look away from  _ It. _ She tried, but it was as though she were completely frozen. Out of the corner of her eye she thought she saw another figure, but she couldn’t turn her head to confirm it. It didn’t matter very much, she supposed.

The more she stared at  _ It, _ the more certain she was that she wasn’t very afraid. Or was she simply growing less afraid by the moment? Did it matter?

The shadow figure moved. Or, no, not moved, simply…  _ shifted _ to be closer to her. She could probably touch it if she reached out. If she could move, that is. It didn’t really have a face that she could distinguish, but she felt it was staring right at her, or maybe  _ through _ her and into her very soul. The thought made a shiver course through her. She so hated people judging her; they usually found her wanting. Strangely, it didn’t feel like  _ It _ was judging her, as much as it was… searching for something, though she wasn’t sure what, or how she could even tell that’s what it was doing.

And then she felt it. A crushing wave of loneliness, so sudden and overwhelming, it pulled a sob from her. The shadow flickered and she could swear she heard a responding cry of despair, though she wasn’t sure where it came from,  _ if _ it came at all.

It didn’t matter.

She knew now, suddenly, what  _ It _ wanted. What  _ she _ wanted. It was all the same.

Faintly, she heard a frantic knocking at her front door, and Loki shouting her name, but she didn’t even try to respond. It wouldn’t really make a difference, would it? She’d burned that bridge, if ever there was one.

She was ready.

The shadow spread its arms, welcoming, warm, and leaned closer. So close. And she was ready. She wanted this, she knew it. Desperately, for all of her life, even if she hadn’t known it.

She heard a crash behind her, and soon after heard Loki’s voice inside her apartment. But… why? Why was he there? He’d told her to go, and rightly so. He didn’t want her either. Did he? No, she’d burned that bridge.

Hadn’t she?

But… What if… what if she hadn’t? What if there was still…

With a jolt, she could suddenly move again, and she turned. Away from  _ It. _ Away from that embrace, that suddenly didn’t feel as welcoming, as warm. She looked past the blurry figures of what she somehow  _ knew _ were once people, and straight at Loki, standing there at her door against all her expectations. He looked worried. He looked  _ scared. _ As if he knew, as well as she did deep down, that there was danger here. Terrible danger. The growl behind her said as much as her instincts, now coming back to her full force. She wanted to run, away from  _ It, _ towards Loki and the door, but she never stood a chance as  _ It _ engulfed her.

She barely had time to scream before everything went dark.

****

The seventh floor was very dark despite that it wasn’t quite nighttime yet. The lights along the hall were on, but they were very dim, as though they just couldn’t penetrate the gloom. It pressed in on his spells, he could feel it trying to break through them, and he could only hope they would hold for long enough, because he didn’t want to have to divert his remaining seidr towards them for the worry he would need it. And he probably would, he thought; the shadow that took Melanie didn’t seem like the sort of being that could be affected by physical force.

He pushed on, out of the elevator and down the hall. Melanie had said to stay away from 10G, so that was where he needed to be. He just hoped he wasn’t too late; he had no idea how long he’d been out, or how fast whatever was happening to the people that creature took actually happened.  _ Gods, _ he hoped he wasn’t too late.

Loki expected the door of the apartment he sought to be locked, maybe even sealed in some way, but it opened easily, and so he braced himself and went inside. The apartment was dusty, the furnishings clearly very old, which made sense given it had been ‘uninhabited’ for a large portion of its existence as far as he knew. It was not, however, empty by any stretch of the imagination. He couldn’t see anyone - human or otherwise - but he felt their presence, almost overwhelmingly so, and he was struck with the thought that the shadow had taken more people than he knew of.  _ Many _ more. But while he felt sympathy for them, his priority was Anne and Melanie.

He felt a stronger presence behind him -  _ Its _ presence - and turned, seidr at the ready to defend himself, only to let out a soft involuntary gasp as he was instead met with Melanie. Or possibly not, as she looked…  _ darker _ somehow, as though she were in the shadows despite what light came in from outside through the windows beside them. “Melanie?” he asked cautiously.

“You came,” she said, then looked away, “Of course you did. We all do, eventually.”

“You didn’t. It brought you here, the shadow. Don’t you remember?”  _ Could _ she even remember? He almost feared the answer.

“But she wanted to come. They all did.”

“And you are?”

“I am her. I am you? I am all of them. Or no one,” her brows furrowed, “It’s hard to recall. It’s been so long.”

“Melanie… Is she still… ?”

She looked back at him at her name. “Loki?”

“Are you with me?”

“Yes, I… I think so. It’s so…” she put her hands on her temples, “It’s so loud.”

“What is? What happened?” he asked, though he had an idea.

“They’re here. They’re all here. Everyone who disappeared; they-” she turned away from him and began pacing back and forth, “So many. So many people. It’s  _ so loud, _ I can’t…”

“Melanie, stay with me-” he took a step towards her and she whirled to face him suddenly.

“Stay back!” she cried, causing him to stop in his tracks, “I’m trying… It’s not safe. I’m not… I don’t know how long I can stay.”

“What  _ happened? _ Do you know what happened?”

“It took them. It… got in our heads and brought us here. Or led. It… Loki, it was so alone. So alone. We all were. I c-can’t…” she pressed her hands harder against her temples, eyes shut tight. Then her expression relaxed and she dropped her hands to her sides and opened her eyes. “So alone. All alone…”

“Melanie…?” he tried though he knew that wasn’t her, or not completely.

“No. Yes. She’s here, with us. With me.”

“Why? Why take her? What  _ are _ you?” Perhaps if he knew that, he could stop it.

“Alone. I don’t want to be alone,” she whispered.

“… You died alone; whoever you once were,” he guessed, now more sure than ever of what this was about.

“Nobody noticed,” she replied, “Nobody ever noticed me. Not before, not after… I was so alone. Still here, and alone. For so long. I don’t know. I don’t know how long. And nobody noticed.” Her eyes lit up suddenly. “And then I thought… Others came, alone, like me. And I could reach them! They were so close, I could touch them. They noticed me. Not always, but they noticed. And I thought… I thought, if I took them…” she trailed off as her face fell, seeming to blur before his eyes, then blinked and looked back at him, “I thought it would help, but it didn’t. I still feel empty.”

“And… and Anne?” he asked, despite how badly he didn’t want to hear what he already knew.

“She’s here. With me. Us. She’s part of us.” At his sharp inhale, she looked down. “I’m sorry,” she said softly, and sounded like she meant it, “I don’t want to be alone. None of us do. Did.” She looked up again, an intensity to her eyes that immediately put him on edge. “She’s here, with us. I didn’t want to be alone, so we took them. They all came to me. We didn’t want to be alone.” She took a few stilted steps forward and he instinctively countered them, feeling disconcertingly cornered all of a sudden. “I took them. I thought it would help, but it’s not enough. They’re all here with us, with me. It’s not enough. It’s never been enough.”

_ “Melanie,” _ he called sharply, hoping to bring her back.

She did stop advancing on him, seeming to actually recognise him all of a sudden. “I don’t want to be alone,” she whispered brokenly, “I didn’t want this, but, god help me, I didn’t resist it.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, feeling so very guilty about his part in leading her to this. For he knew he held some responsibility, even if not much. Enough. “I wish… I should never have given you hope that I would be there; I didn’t mean to, but I did. And then I took it away. I’m so sorry.” He took a step towards her, despite his every instinct screaming against it. “Melanie, you didn’t deserve this. You didn’t deserve any of it.”

She stared at him for a moment, then her face crumpled and she sank to the floor, covering her face with her hands and sobbing. “I just wanted someone to love me,” she managed.

He didn’t quite know what to say to that. What  _ could _ he say? That he understood? He knew loneliness, and he knew desperation. He knew what it was like, yes, and what it was to want it all to end. Perhaps that was it. “Melanie…” he began.

She looked up at him. “You should go.”

“Without you?” he asked, “Without Anne?”

“It’s too late for us. It’s too late for all of us.”

“There must be something to be done,” he insisted, “You still live, I sense it. And perhaps Anne… It hasn’t been that long. There must be  _ something.” _

She shook her head. “Just…  _ go. _ You’re lonely, too…” she warned.

“I can’t just give up on you. Or her; I have to get her back. Her sister needs her back.”

“Her sister should have thought of that before,” Melanie snapped, her expression quickly turned from despair to anger, though there was an echo beneath her words, a familiar voice.

He had never met Anne, but her resemblance to her twin was enough for him to recognise her voice, and he risked a step towards Melanie. “Anne-”

Melanie/Anne inhaled sharply. “ _ Don’t. _ She could’ve reached out. She didn’t. It’s too late now and you should go.”

“I won’t leave you,” he said firmly.

Sorrow replaced the anger. “You don’t understand,” Melanie said, Anne’s echo gone, shaking her head and covering her eyes with her hands, “It’s taking so much. I don’t want you here.” She looked up at him pleadingly. “Run. As fast as you can. Run, while I’m still me enough to let you. Don’t look back. Don’t come back.  _ Please.” _

“I can’t. I can’t… lose her. I can’t have failed you both.”

“You didn’t,” she smiled sadly, “You were just too late. It’s not your fault; we need you to know that. Anne was already gone before you got here, and I… My mother made sure I never stood a chance against  _ It, _ even though she didn’t know it. She’s the reason I was alone, not you.”

“There has to be something. I can’t simply leave you here to suffer.”

“You have to. It wants you, too, I can feel it. It’s so… They’ll use your loneliness, like mine, and hers. It’s getting close; whatever you’re doing to stop the shadow from whispering to you, it won’t last forever.”

He couldn’t really refute that; he could feel his shields weakening the longer he was there. “I will come back-”

“ _ No!  _ Don’t you get it??  _ It knows you now. _ If you come back, it’ll be harder to resist. I lived here for months, I know what it does. Please, Loki, you have to go  _ now; _ I can’t keep pushing it back.” When he still hesitated, she added, “You have another daughter; think about her. Don’t let her lose any more family to this.”

He looked away at that, clenching his jaw. He knew that she had a point, he just didn’t want to accept it. But he had to and he knew it. He looked back at her, noticing she was blurring away again. “I’m sorry.”

“I know,” she replied, and he could hear the echo of Anne’s voice in it as well, which only served to break his heart further.

“I’ll try to stop this somehow,” he swore, “I may not be able to save either of you, but I will try to keep  _ It _ from taking anyone else.”

She nodded. “Good. No more. It’ll never be enough; there shouldn’t be any more.”

With one final longing look, Loki turned and forced himself to walk out of the apartment, back to the elevator and to the ground floor, and out the building altogether.

****

He went straight to the Sanctum and filled Strange and Wong in on what happened before crashing both from the exertion of keeping up his shields for so long under the shadow’s constant onslaught, as much as the emotional toll of everything. While he rested, the sorcerers worked on crafting a seal that would hold the shadow and its influence in the apartment until such a time as it could be destroyed, if indeed it were possible.

They waited until Loki awoke the following evening to implement the plan, knowing he would want to be there and figuring they would probably need him anyway, as he was the only one with firsthand experience in what they were up against. The shadow fought them,  _ hard  _ \- hard enough for Strange and Wong to finally perceive it, much to their disturbance - but in the end they succeeded, if only just. The victory, if it could be called that, rang hollow to Loki. He had lost; lost his daughter, lost Melanie, lost his chance to avenge both.

He just lost.

He texted Thor to get his things from the apartment, he just couldn’t bring himself to set foot in the building again, at least not yet, then asked Strange to open a portal for him that would drop him off at Trine’s house. She was waiting for him, it seemed, sitting on the steps of her front porch, and he walked over and sat beside her, taking her offered hand and holding on as though it were a lifeline. Perhaps it was.

He was silent for a very long time, and then finally whispered, “I failed.”

Trine squeezed his hand. “I don’t think you did. But  _ I _ did. I knew she was suffering, I felt it. I should have done something sooner, not when it stopped.”

He took a deep, shuddering breath. And then he let it out, all of it. Trine pulled him over to her and held him tight as he apologised over and over between his sobs. To her, to Anne, to Melanie, and everyone else he had ever felt he had failed.

****

Loki stood before the door to apartment 10G, the hallway no longer oppressively dark in the absence of the shadow’s spilling influence. It was a year to the day since he had confronted  _ It; _ Stark had bought the building at his and Strange’s urging - which required more information than he wanted to give to a roomful of people who hated him, but it had to be done - and relocated the tenants of the other apartments to somewhere safer and significantly less haunted, and it had remained empty since. Or at least, empty of  _ people. _

But he was not here for  _ people. _

He took a deep breath, feeling the full range of his seidr course through him (Odin always did underestimate his power and ability to get around Bindings), and let it out slowly before opening the door and walking inside the apartment. Immediately he was met by the blurry once-people, who moved to attack him as the shadow sensed the danger he posed, but they didn’t even get close as he banished them from that plane of existence, and hopefully to some better afterlife, though he had no way to be sure with how far gone they were from who they’d been when they lived. He made his way to what had been the shadow’s bedroom when it was still a living person, and there he found  _ her. _

It pained him to see Melanie that way - or what was left of her, rather. It pained him even more how long it took for any true recognition to cross her face.

“Loki,” her voice seemed so small, so faint and far away, “You came back. I told you not to.”

“You did. But I never promised I wouldn’t.”

“Why?”

“Because I  _ did _ promise I would stop it.”

She flickered a bit then seemed more solid, her voice slightly stronger as she asked, “How?”

He called on his seidr, letting it travel up his arms. “By breaking the tether that holds the shadow to this realm. I can do it now.” He looked at her apologetically. “I don’t know what it will do to you, however. It could free you, or it could destroy whatever is left of you. I’m sorry.”

She shook her head. “Don’t be. Anything is better than this. I’m so empty, even when I was full of everyone else. If you can end it, do it. Please.”

He nodded and walked up to her, gently taking her face in his hands. He despised the shadow for what it took from him, from all of them, but Melanie did not deserve his rage. He closed his eyes and looked for the tether deep within her. The shadow tried to fight him, but between his power and Melanie’s determination born from her newfound hope, they kept it at bay as he severed the connection. He made it as painless as he could, but she still whimpered as shudders ran through her, and he wrapped her in his arms and held her, murmuring apologies and reassurances that it would be over soon into her hair. Finally, he felt her fade away.

He didn’t realise when he fell to his knees, or how long he sat there staring off at nothing; he wanted to believe that Melanie was free now, but there was simply no way of knowing. He could only hope. With a final sigh, he wiped at his eyes and stood. He had to call Strange and get back to Trine before they worried that the shadow had won, despite his assurances that he could deal with it now.

  
He also had to pay a little visit to a certain so-called  _ mother… _

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment. Please? I crave Validation. Almost as much as I crave cake.


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